The Christmas Husband

I hope you husbands out there that celebrate Christmas are using this time of the year to enjoy your mate. By this I mean, enjoy the season, the atmosphere, the spirit and your wife's unique quirks and of course her family traditions that might differ from yours.

This picture of our tree shows a relatively normal looking Yule evergreen until you look closely at the ornaments. Many are handmade, some by me and some by our kids and grand kids. In addition there are picture ornaments, ornaments with dates memorializing family events, and ornaments given to us as presents.

The Santa Box at the lower right hand corner is one of those security gift bags that sounds an alarm if moved. I bought this for my wife's gift after warning her that her peeking days were over this year. It speaks in Santa's voice if you get near it and warns you not to peek.

Of course this is all in fun, yet there is an element of reality in choosing this item. My darling wife is a woman with a great sense of curiosity and that sense seems to be heightened at Christmas time. I spend a good deal of energy in attempts to outwit her each year as to the size, number and type of presents she'll be receiving. It adds to the fun of the season for us and has become quite a tradition. When we had kids in the house I would enlist their aid in hiding her presents and managed more than one surprise.

Our Christmases are always great fun because our anniversary is during the preceding week. We usually travel or plan some fun event for that occasion. This year we're headed to Laughlin, Nevada for a few days and then back to Phoenix to celebrate Christmas with family.

Here's hoping you have a very Merry Christmas!

The Daily Husband

Thanksgiving at your In-Laws

Like most of you Husbands out there, I follow my wife's lead as to where we spend our Holidays. This Thanksgiving we spent at her next oldest sister's house. There were probably 25 or so for the meal. It was nice to catch with my nieces and nephews, as well as Vicki's other siblings.

We played a new game (at least to me) called LRC. ( Left, Right, or Center) We played for quarters and I won. I am spending that money at Starbucks as I write this blog.

In addition, my sister-in-law has a baby grand piano that is mostly in tune. I spent a great deal of the day at the piano composing a melancholy etude and enjoying the sounds of the piano.

I hope your Thanksgiving day was a happy one.

The Daily Husband

Happy Thanksgiving to all those Husbands out there

I woke my wife up this morning to get this picture of a rainbow that greeted me as I walked to the car. (She had stored the digital camera in a place unknown to me) I think she'll forgive me when she sees it.

I am thankful to have her and our relationship this year. I do my level best to not take that for granted. Having her as lover, friend and companion for the last 27 years has been a blessing indeed.



I hope all of you have a wife that tops your thankfulness list.



The Daily Husband

Thanks for the Kudos

My friend Robert at My Wife has Agoraphobia laid a couple of awards on me this week and I want to thank him for the honors.

The Daily Husband has had many changes in direction and content, but still remains a blog about being a husband.

I believe that it is the most important role in a married man's life. Nothing can be more rewarding or fulfilling than being the best mate, friend, and companion to your wife.

That someone else out there get's that is award enough in itself.

Thanks Robert

The Daily Husband

T minus 6 and Counting

OK, it's almost time to leave the "Rents" and move into our little rental in Sun Lakes.

The "Move" or ordeal as I prefer to call it, starts Sunday morning. We must pull some furniture from our storage facility. In order to accomplish this task, all items will need to come out of the storage room and then re-stored if not needed in the place we're renting.

There is so much junk stuffed in this thing that just getting the door open requires an effort. We have hired a couple of guys to help us get it out and on the truck and reorganize what has to stay. Wish us luck. This kind of project is the kind of thing that hurts people, ruins marriages and turns good furniture into trash and bad furniture into firewood.

The upside of all this is that we should be able to sleep in our own bed by Monday night. I am looking forward to the experience. Along with sleeping in our own bed we look forward to having a place to chill out by ourselves. Both of us want to do as much as we can for Vicki's folks, but we are of the opinion we can do it from a distance. (In this case, less than a mile)


In addition, we are scheduled to get high-speed Internet hooked up that Monday and I should be able to get back to a normal routine instead of my daily visits (more like camping out really) to Starbucks.

I should miss "Bucks" society, but I probably will not. I'm more a Folgers/Safeway coffee drinker than a Grande/Latte/Venta Mocha Frappacrappacichino drinker. It's understandable that folks with extra cash should buy would they consider to be premium coffee, but I drink Starbuck's house blend every day and it ain't all that good to me.

Still, I am grateful for the Wi-Fi and some of the friends I've made here. I won't miss the place, but I just might miss talking to some very interesting people that I met in my local "Bucks".

The Daily Husband

IKEA - Swedish for bring your lunch

As most Husbands will do, I started something today I may live to regret.

Vic and I were not wanting to look at our storage unit today, because we know our furniture and belongings are just stuffed in there and will need much blood, sweat and tears to remove. It will also take a couple of guys with young legs and good muscles as well. But I digress..

So on the way to the storage unit I asked her if she would like to go and see the big IKEA store. I had no idea what I was letting myself in for on this occasion.

They give you a map and a menu when you walk in the door. That should have been sufficient warning, but it wasn't. This first clue should be enough let you know you've entered an alternative universe in which shopping for Swedish furniture and household goods requires walking miles, seeing thousands of items and stopping for refreshment and a meal in between. No kidding.

I thought it was pretty cool, till I realized they were doing this as a necessity. Husbands have been lost in this store for hours and sometimes days on end. Without food and water they would perish.

A few hours later we popped out the other end of the gigantic structure with pictures of modern Nordic furniture and decorating items burned into our memories. For a while I thought I was back in the 60s. Had there been a few more folks in bell bottoms the spell would have been complete. Luckily I escaped without a bad LSD flashback occurring.

Be warned my fellow Husbands; IKEA is Swedish for bring a lunch and they ain't kidding.

The Daily Husband

People that the world revolves around

Everyone has had a friend, neighbor, teenager or someone in their life who thinks the world revolves around them. My in-laws have a family of people like that as their neighbors.

This morning I was wakened from a sound sleep by the sound of a horn honking, repeatedly.

It seems the next door neighbors use the horn on their motorcycles and three wheelers to signal people inside their house to close the garage door. Now I know you're saying to yourselves, "Man, they could just use a remote or get off their bikes and close it." But these folks are not that swift.

Instead,the rider will signal with the horn. Too bad if you're trying to sleep right next door and your open bedroom window is assaulted by the horn.

When they woke me this morning I bounded out of bed in my shorts, went to the street and confronted a rider on a Harley three wheeler. The rider was dressed all in black leather and even had on a black wind scarf. I was without my glasses and couldn't tell the gender of the rider at first.

I pointed to my bedroom window and asked that they please not honk their horns and wake me up. From beneath the wind scarf came a little squeaky "Sorry". I guess it was one of the biker chicks on the three wheeler this morning.

More than likely the image of me in my pajama shorts with hair looking like antenna will stay with her long enough to remind her to find another way to get the door closed. It was not a pretty picture and I was somewhat perturbed as well. My guess is that she picked up on that too.

We move in to our own place the 1st of December, so the problem will solve itself eventually, but I react very unfavorably to being awakened in so thoughtless and uncaring a manner.

Some people really think the world revolves around them and their every need and action.

It ain't so.

The Daily Husband

Moving on Up

We met with a couple that has a small house for rent is Sun Lakes. It's just a few minutes from Vicki's parents, will give us access to all amenities here and we can be in it by the end of the month.

Vic seemed anxious to make something happen and I was content once we assured ourselves our King size bed would fit in the master bedroom. Daddy needs his space to play and rest.

Made a deal about rent, some furniture they will remove and will give them a deposit tomorrow in anticipation of starting to pull stuff out of our storage room at U-Haul. I will need to drink many adult beverages before and after tackling that project. Our belongings, furniture and appliances are stuffed in the storage room like sardines. We need only some of the pieces, but most all will need to be removed to get to what we need. AAAGGGHHHHH

It may entail hiring some help again for the move, we'll just have to see how sparky we feel after the first attempt at getting some of our stuff.

The Daily Husband

Yard Sales

For those who have never held a successful yard sale, let me tell you how it works.

You dig up all the crap around your house that you no longer care for or just want to be rid of or whatever. This takes a couple of weeks if you're my in-laws. The resulting heaps of items are then sorted, priced and gotten ready to display.

The morning of the sale you get up before 5:00AM (I'm not kidding) to get all the tables loaded with items, all the clothes hung and all the other stuff out in the driveway to attract the hordes.

Our first sale this morning was made to a couple who showed up a 5:30 in the morning, with a flashlight, to look at our junk.

The only thing they purchased was a pair of handcuffs for $3:00. I kid you not. My wife, her mother, father and other sisters all speculated on how the handcuffs would be used. I was the one that sold them and didn't even know what was in the box. I just made sure to get the 3 bucks that was on the sticker.

We had some slack times, but lots of folks showed up. I left around 8:30 to come down to the "Bucks" to blog. By that time we must have had 50 or more people show up. No doubt when I get back they will have had many times more than that.

Yard sales are a great tradition in Phoenix. Some folks furnish their whole homes with yard sale merchandise. It's nothing to make several hundred or even a thousand dollars at a good one. Of course that was back in the day before the present sad economy.

I will report on the sale in a coming blog and we'll judge from that.

The Daily Husband

House Hunting

Vicki and I looked at a couple of places to rent today. They are both in the same neighborhood as her folks. The reason for this is twofold.

We would like to be close to them so we can help around their place and keep an eye on them. In addition, we like the Sun Lakes area and Sun Lakes specifically for its amenities. We enjoy the community pools, tennis courts, golf courses and the abundance of streets on which to walk and ride our bicycles.

One of the places we viewed was awful, so we won't be considering that one. The other was nice, though a little small and fully furnished. It is really set up for snowbirds to come here in the winter. We'll have to see how that goes. The bedroom lacks sufficient room for our king bed and I'm partial to the big comfy bed.

It was a start at least and we will probably do something by the end of the month. In the meantime we have a huge garage sale tomorrow and many more days of fix up at the "Rents" house.

The Daily Husband

A thought about Change

Back in February of this year I was writing poetry at a website called Neopoet. I found this one today while reviewing some of my older works. It might be relevant to what we do tomorrow at the polls. See what you think.


It’s been some time since I heard the world
clamoring for change
though need of it is manifest
throughout this worldly range

Step not upon the shores
of alteration and disdain
though ways that have worked a thousand years
grow harder to explain

Tell me please if you can
Why man must kill his kind
most animals abstain from this
it’s mostly us I find

And then there’s the molestation
of younger girls and boys
how did this come to be in vogue?
as if human kids were toys

It’s known that greed is ancient
one of the deadly sins
yet does it seem to you as me
that we’ve allowed it timely wins

In this day of modern wealth
are not there starving more
men and women and boys and girls
than there has ever been before

I know we’re a multitudinous race
homosapiens we be
Yet did we lose the compassion gene
or somehow set if free

We’re so tied up in the daily grind
and attempting to survive
Forgetting that mere striving
will not our consciences revive?

What say you about the study of war?
the ways to kill and maim
Have we not excelled in this dread skill?
Many honors we may claim

Oh praise to our fine technology
we’ve come a thousand years
till attempting to grasp suicide
then we’re lost again my dears

If you’ve witnessed dementia
or visited a home
where our grandparents are warehoused
interred within the dome

Of inexplicable reluctance
to face those growing old
despite it’s there in all our blood
If I may be so bold

Yea, we’re a great bunch of highly
evolved and wizened folk
except when we face reality
then it seems more of a joke

That we this most intelligent
and lofty human race
still stumble with the questions
and the answers we might face

It appears we have taken gold
not wisdom in exchange
Yes it’s been sometime since I’ve heard this world
Clamoring for change

Maybe we'll see a little change this coming year.

The Daily Husband

Intimacy Maintenance

Intimacy maintenance, what the hell are you talking about, you might ask?

Here goes, stay with me if you can. I will do my best to not give too much information, yet impart enough to make the point.

I am a touchy- feelly kind of person. I regularly caress, touch, grab, fondle and generally molest my wife. Usually while we do dishes together or any other time I feel like it. I do my best to not do too much of this in public and to be honest, I think I'm better at that part than she is. She feels no compunctions about grabbing my ass while we wait in line at a restaurant or some other public place. But I digress...

Good marriages have a distinctive physical component that needs to be held on to as the couple ages. While our style of dress and the exposure of skin my change with age, our need to touch and be touched does not. In fact, I would say we need more hugs and caresses as we get older.

So, if you have a good relationship, then make sure you keep up the intimacy. Don't miss out on the physical bond that makes your marriage special, exciting, lusty, romantic or whatever.

I thought about this last night after a late night, spontaneous love making session. When you're my age (59 going on 80) then these things really rock. I made the effort to take my time, be gentle and generally revel in our intimacy. There is simply nothing hotter than lying with the one you love in that very special and most intimate of caresses.

I admit it. If I could lay around in bed with my wife most of the day, I would, In our younger days we did a good bit of that on weekends. Now laying in bed too long brings on arthritic pains and the need to gain a more vertical position. Too bad really, I prefer the horizontal.


Anyway, the point of this post is this. Take time, make the effort to have physical and emotional intimacy with your mate. It causes your brain to produce good endorphins, adds years to your lifespan and puts a smile on your face. What's not to like?

The Daily Husband

Son-In-Law?

For those of you out there who have a touchy or rough relationship with a Father-in-Law you will appreciate my predicament.

I like my in-laws and enjoy time with them. We are living in their home at present while we help them out with some family stuff and they in turn provide us a place to stay. On the surface this seems like a good deal for both parties. On the surface....

Beneath the surface are the very different and divergent personalities, traits, habits and every day actions of the two generationally divided couples. It takes some getting used to for all parties, let me tell ya.

My Father -in- Law is retired law enforcement and has kept his cop mentality all his life. He is also losing his hearing and is at an age when he is not able to physically do what he is accustomed to doing. The combination of these traits and my own have brought some tension to the household.

My answer to this was to avoid him, not engage in too much conversation and generally just stay out of the way. I think I've been unsuccessful in my attempts. He has found fault in the way Vicki and I interact, in spite of his own marriage's dysfunction and he made sure to tell my wife. We both thought it slightly funny, since she has no compunctions about telling me to shut up or go away if I get on her nerves.

There may be a bit of projection on his part, of which I am sure, he is unaware.

Anyway, I had totally forgotten the role of son-in-law till this recent visit with my wife's parents. Now that I am reminded of it, I remember how much I dislike the position it puts you in and the family dynamics that must be dealt with in order to make a go of it.

Because I am much like my Father-in-Law in all the wrong ways, it makes it doubly difficult. That said, I wouldn't want to be any place else right now. Vicki needs to spend this time with her folks and I need to support her in that. In addition I am enjoying the experience to the best of my ability and loving the interaction with Vic's Mom and between Vic and her Mom.

The fact that two old grumpy, ex-marines have some friction in their relationship is minimal in comparison to the good being accomplished on other fronts.

How's your relationship with your In-laws?

The Daily Husband

Why are we paying Wall Street's Gambling Debts?

If you missed 60 minutes and their explanation of Credit Default Swaps and what they have done to our economy, you missed something vital to your financial interests.

Crooks and Liars has a piece on it today.

We should all be letting our congressmen and women know that we are not willing to pay these debts. The entire sum owed on the bogus CDS mess should not be payed.

People knew they were gambling. In addition they were betting on the failure of other financial entities. We outlawed the practice 100 years ago and then let it creep back in during Clinton's administration. It went crazy under Bush.

The banks and investment houses that we deem necessary to save had better use the money to help people with mortgages and foreclosures; that after all is the underlying problem with our economy. As to paying off hedge fund gambling debts; NO WAY!!!!!!!

The Daily Husband

Marriage

There exists, on the Arizona ballot this year, a proposition which is supposed to be about protecting marriage. It's one of those anti-gay things that theocrats think has a place in politics.



It is true that the state of marriage in our country is marginal. It's still a 50/50 chance you take when tying the knot. So What? For those like Vicki and I who have found a partner worth putting up with, lying next to night after night, watching them grow older before your eyes, helping with parents and children, enjoying travel and entertainment together and all the other myriad blessings of a good marriage it was well worth the gamble.



I wouldn't trade these 27 years we've been together for anything. And for 22 of them we've been married.



So... I don't see the necessity for any government intervention into defining marriage. I understand that couples ( of any sort) want equal financial and social rights, but that's certainly a secular and not religious matter.



It is hard for me to imagine what is the danger a committed relationship between two other people represents to me. I admit to not enjoying seeing men kissing, (it's my generation and raging heterosexuality I guess) but I could care less if they want to have a committed and socially recognized relationship. It's for others to figure out what to call it and if they decide to call it marriage or some legal term good for tax purposes, well good for them. It certainly won't make me any less married or mar the the good name of marriage in my eyes.

While there exists a great many things that humans do that surely should not be socially or governmentally sanctioned, I cannot believe that two humans who have been fortunate enough to build a relationship worth memorializing and legitimizing are really engaged in that kind of activity. We heteros spend too much time worrying about what the gays are up to in the bedroom and the possible bad effects on our children. Why not spend a bit more time enjoying our own relationships and let the schadenfreude go about gay relationships?

Just a thought.

The Daily Husband

The Beat goes on

In my never ending quest to conquer all maintenance chores at my in-law's place I will be replacing a damaged fluorescent fixture and its accompanying bulb. Then it's on to the guest room toilet which runs for no good reason. This usually means a bad flapper valve or seal at the tank or in the worst case, the need for replacing the guts of the unit in entirety.

I am going with the flapper valve replacement first because the flush valve is modern and the toilet is in a difficult and cramped location in which to work. (I did that sentence for Dr. John) (about the preposition I mean, not about the toilet) (I promise, no pun was intended) (REALLY)

Anyway....... As is my habit, I check pricing at both Home Depot and Lowes. While at the Home Depot, the alleged potty expert (I say alleged because he did not know that flapper valves had different width hinge fixtures and just handed me the most overpriced piece of crap he had) At the same time he asked why I was comparison shopping when I clued him to the info on flush valves and I replied "You might have heard, we're in a recession and I like to spend my money wisely." He replied "It's only a recession if you believe there's one."

I know I should have let it go, but the obvious republican/Rush Limbaugh/Faux News denial line, drew an instant response. I told him that conditions made it a recession not my awareness or belief in it. I did not ask him what he was smoking, though I should have, cause right about now (the time I'm working on my father-in-law's toilet) I could use a good toke of something green and sweet smelling.

I did not buy the overpriced item he suggested and will go back shortly to the house, drain the tank, pull the old flush valve and go to the local hardware store for a replacement. I'm betting that no one there will have the temerity to tell me the "RECESSION" is all in my head.

I am not a huge fan of Home Depot anyway because they use the company Certigy to guarantee payment when you pay them by check. Back when we were remodeling our home in North Carolina I had it out with them and took several thousand dollars of flooring business from Home Depot and gave it to Lowes. Certigy uses a computer program for check acceptance and not your actual bank balance or payment history. Pissed me off bigtime. I pretty much told them to shove it.

Since coming back to Phoenix and working on the "Rents" place I put my dislike for the "Depot" aside and shopped there as needed. It will be needed less and less I think.

OK, I have stories to read, comments to right, light fixtures to repair and toilets to flush.

Have a great weekend.

The Daily Husband

OK, now what?

Well, we've accomplished some of our goals with Vic's parents and we think we can see the end of the tunnel. Now we need to begin the process of establishing our lives in Phoenix.

Most of the reading, research and anecdotal accounts I've researched tell me that obtaining employment at age 59 will be tough. SO......... What to do.

I've been thinking of investing a little of our diminished nest egg in a local business as a way of buying myself a job. Problem here is that most retail establishments I see are experiencing a downturn in sales. Then there's the service sector. Maybe there's some opportunity there.

I'd really love to be involved in a manufacturing effort. But most take way more capital than we possess.

Still, there has to be something I can do. We don't believe that Vicki will have a problem getting work. The only thing with her job is to get one close that pays well.

Today seems like an excellent time to explore whats out there. The internet has some obvious advantages over knocking on doors, though I'm not above doing that as well.

We mailed our ballots today with plenty of extra postage so there is no chance of them not getting there.

Hope you all get a chance to get out and cast a ballot.

The Daily Husband

Cool comes to my baby

As I reported yesterday I turned my back on my old tinting shop when they failed to provide the level of customer service I sought. Instead a nice fellow by the name of Gilbert showed up this morning and did the work at my in-law's place.




Here are a couple of pictures of him working. He turned out to be a world traveller and an excellent tint installer. In addition, I saved $80 and had the work done at home. Very cool; yes, a pun is intended.










Now if I can just remember to not operate the windows for a couple of days all will be well. I can already tell the difference in the car. I know to those of you in the east it may sound crazy, but in Arizona, tinting your car's windows is almost mandatory. Too much sun is not a good thing.


I am continuing my exposure to Starbucks society and met a bright young man from the local Intel plant at my local "Bucks" today. We had a long talk about the markets, his company, worthless stock options, housing and foreclosures and lots of political stuff.



He introduced me to a website about a new form of living and culture. It is The Venus Project. If you get a chance, jump on over there and check out some innovative ideas about how to live better.



Things with the "Rents" are going pretty good. Vic and I tackle a project a day and help where and when we can. Later today I will be investigating their irrigation system and its timer. Should be interesting.


RT

Made up and Stayed up

OK, so the new opener is in and operating. Vic and I are on speaking terms again. I was supposed to get tint on the windows of our car today, but the shop pissed me off and I decided to use somebody else.

Without getting into a lot of boring detail about a petty incident, let me say this.
"Any conversation a business has with a dissatisfied customer needs to be about the customer, not about the business." If you have crummy customer service, or employees that think they're doing your customer a favor by taking their money and providing the product or service the customer is paying for; well, then your business is going to have a problem in this recession.

Folks are going to stop spending money with you and look for a place that appreciates their business. Word to the wise; be nice to the people who spend money with you.

On another entirely different note: It seems I am becoming a part of Starbucks society. I am not sure that's a good thing though. This morning, after canceling my install with the shmucks, I stopped to get online and research tinting shops at a "Bucks" new to me. While there, a guy next to me hooked me up with a deal on tinting and I'll find out tomorrow just how good the deal is.

I also met a very nice lady who is on the faculty at University of Phoenix. We chatted amiably for a while about the economy, the housing market, and business in general. It was a very pleasant experience. And nice to hear from someone else how badly they feel our country has been governed.

Vicki and I spent some time today discussing what we would be doing with and for her folks. There is a need for diplomacy here which I lack. It will be up to Vic to take care of that end. I will focus on giving her a second opinion and doing what I can around the in-law's place to make their life easier, safer and more secure.

It seems when we get to talking about this stuff we can become passionate and edgy. I find myself apologizing many times during our conversations and reassuring her that my intention is to help her and not pressure her. On this count I have been only partly successful. My temporary solution is to make a conscious effort to shut up for a while.

Anyone who has read my blogs will appreciate how hard that is for me. I have at least one and sometimes several opinions about almost everything. Not a good trait for a husband; at least not for a husband who wants to enjoy the delights of marital bliss on a regular basis.

My conclusion: HUSBAND'S OPINIONS ARE BEST KEPT TO THEMSELVES!

The Daily Husband

Our first fight at the "Rents"

We are currently staying with my wife's parents. They are in their late 70's. They are wonderful people. They are, like most folks of that generation, quite unique and true to themselves.

That being said; my wife and I are attempting to bring some help to them in the form of organization, financial advise, and household maintenance. While my wife excels at all these things, there are certain things left to me. One of those things is garage door openers.

Within the first few days at Vicki's parents it became apparent that their garage door opener was on the frtiz. Since I actually worked on them professionally for two years I felt duty bound to fix it. Turns out that the opener is just old enough and requires just enough parts and labor that a new one is a better option. I had hoped to baby the old one along till Monday, but as life would have it that was not to be. It gave up the ghost today and in doing so presented me with a difficult and dangerous problem.

The limiter switches which control the up and down movement finally died today and left the opener with severe and potentially deadly tension on the cable that is attached to the chain. I ended up on top of my father-in-law's car undoing this mess, cussing my plight somewhat and keeping my head down in case the damn cable broke and tried to take my head off. At this very moment my beautiful spouse came out and attempted to give me advice as to how to proceed. I didn't react to that well and the resulting words were short, curt, profane and ended in her storming out of the garage and not talking to me.

Rather than attempt any more conversation I drove to Lowe's, purchased a new opener, some new rollers and a bar to be used to turn the springs when I balance and adjust the garage door. I am now at the Starbucks a few blocks from the "Rents" house and will finish this post before I return to ground zero. There are a lot more things going on here than just what we fought about and I hope tonight we might talk it out. I've learned to leave things alone with Vic for a while, otherwise it gets way worse before it gets better.

Tomorrow we will visit our old church and then I will install a new opener and tune up my in-law's garage door. I am also hopeful that Vicki and I will make up.

Wish me luck!

The Daily Husband

Class Warfare? Yea and we lost.

One of the biggest lies in republican propaganda is that we have high taxes for the rich and taxing them anymore amounts to class warfare. Well, maybe it does, but wouldn't it be nice to win a round every now and then?


Look what's happening today, right this minute. Our government is engaged in spending BILLIONS of DOLLARS $$$$$$ to bail out those who rode high on the hog this last 8 years. We're talking about folks with salaries and bonuses of over a million bucks a year.


These poor soul's businesses that packaged, massaged and misrepresented bad loans to banks, investment houses and unwitting consumers, now wants us to make it all better. Forget millions of foreclosures, forget the millions of jobs lost during BushCo's term and God Almighty, forget that we cut taxes on all the greedy bastards so they could keep more of their ill gotten gains.


As my favorite broadcaster Jon Stewart puts it: well Holy Fuck! What more do they want of us? The answer of course is everything. We are infected with a large group of people who feel entitled to rip us off, scoff at our work ethic, and generally screw up our economy with impunity. No matter how we fix this thing I will never be content till as many of these dillweeds go to jail and pay back what ever money they obtained from these practices.


CEO compensation reform be damned. I am interested in CEO, COO, and Broker, salesman, etc.... incarceration. At some point in our history we need to stop forgiving white collar criminals just because they managed to take us for so much money and get Medieval on their asses!



The Daily Husband

Has anybody seen my old friend John?

Like many who are concerned with the future of our country, I watched the third and final debate last night. I listened as McCain hammered away about nonsense and both candidates danced around how they'll handle the huge mess and bigger deficit that will be left them by George W. (worst president ever) Bush.

I will still vote for Obama. Nothing said last night changed my mind. What amazes me is that there are still undecided voters. Why? Is there truly a question about letting the republicans craft any more dangerous and disastrous policy?

I am realistic and cynical enough to know that Obama will not be able to do miracles. His options will be severely limited. In addition, the right wing will immediately act to undercut his authority and effectiveness. Imagine it like the invasion of Iraq; Saddam's people knew they'd lose the war, but counted on an insurgency that lasted indefinitely. The republicans and more importantly the money people behind them do not want a return to stricter times. The last thing these modern day robber barons would like is to be scrutinized, caught, prosecuted and imprisoned for their crimes.

My father-in-law and I discussed the possibility of Obama losing simply because he is black. I am sad to say the potential for that happening is there. When I view the poll numbers the undecided ones scare me. Those seem to be the folks holding out for McCain to finally do something, anything really, that would help them justify in their little bitty bigoted minds, not voting for Obama.

This election is not only a referendum on 8 years of failed policy and governance by BushCo, but also a referendum on how far we've come in our society. If Obama loses this election it will say to me that all the long decades of civil rights have been meaningless, at least when it comes to the top job in our government. If that happens it will expose a level of hypocrisy and bigotry not believed to be the norm in our society.

I remain hopeful that Obama will win and win big. A mandate to fix this crappy situation would be nice. Then I will pray most fervently that Barack H. Obama will be up to the task at hand.

Because last night, in the last debate, I watched the devolution of a man who once had my respect. John McCain is a proven war hero and has served his country. How well he has served may be up for discussion, but the man has devoted his career to public service. He seemed so far removed from reality and so unable to calmly, thoughtfully present a reason to vote for him instead of Obama, that many felt sorry for the man. Should he lose this election, and I pray that he will, I wonder if he'll look back at his bevy of bad decisions, his appalling choice of running mate and the awkward, angry and way too negative campaign and understand what he did wrong.

He could have been something if he'd been elected in 2000 instead of the idiot. Last night I learned (sadly) why he couldn't beat George in the primaries. Too bad, so sad, so long John.

RT

Has anybody seen my old friend John?

Listen to your Father - In - Law

Vicki and I are living with her parents for a while. They are great people who have watched the country get whacky and wonder why, how, and when will it stop.


At breakfast this morning my father-in-law stated that he didn't like the idea of bailing out people who couldn't pay their mortgages. I said that we would really be helping them keep their homes and pay less in mortgage payments. His reply was what's the government going to do for him. "If the fucking government is giving away money then I want some of it" was his sentiment.


I am afraid a lot of seniors or elders as Ronni Bennett at Times Goes By calls them might feel that way.


Here's the thing. We have already committed to spending at least 700 billion dollars in the finance industry. Wouldn't it be nice if some of that actually went towards stopping foreclosures and keeping people in their homes?


My belief is that is a certain amount of schadenfreude is going on with folks over the mortgage mess. OK, I get that, but in the end none of us really wants a country where millions walk away from their homes. The economic displacement and social consequences are not pretty. Yet we may well see many millions of folks lose their homes.


How about some economic triage? Couldn't we get to those most in need first and help them with some of this 700 billion dollars. At the point we're giving money to banks to cover bad paper, are we really helping the mortgage holders at all? Or are we just helping investors with more money than sense?

A scary, conspiracy inspired thought occurred to me during the last few days.

What if Bush is really just the stalking horse for the New World Order? After all he's managed to bring down the world economy and most nations have now nationalized their banks, in essence insuring the fat cats will be protected. Again, it's just a thought, but wouldn't that be the pits; Bush, the so-called conservative being the actor who socializes the world?

Far out; you bet. Crazy talk; maybe. Still, it makes you wonder how a dumbass psuedo cowboy, Yalie, ex-Texas governor ever got to be president of our country and father the worst administration and worst results since the great depression.

Now they want to have a Right-wingnut VP within a heart attack of being president. The republicans have truly jumped the shark on this one.

The Daily Husband

We made it

A view of the San Fransisco Peaks from 38 miles away. The peaks are over 11,000 feet high. We once lived in Flagstaff at their feet.

For those keeping track we made it to Arizona in one piece. Vicki and I spent most of yesterday afternoon unloading a moving van (just ten feet of one) with helpers into a storage unit in Chandler, AZ a southern suburb of Phoenix.

We're staying with Vicki's folks, enjoying the great weather in Arizona in the fall, helping them around their house and starting to think about jobs, a rental house and stuff like that.

In the meantime I'm posting from a Starbucks a couple of blocks from the In-Law's house. I read a lot of my reader's blogs today and everyone is rightly concerned with the nasty, racial, hate-filled tone of the McCain/Palin bunch. If you want the definition of bigot, just look up Palin in the dictionary. It almost seems as if they mean to revive the KKK.

We've let our country swing so far right that I listened at breakfast this morning to a member of my In-Law's church describe the Arizona Republic ( a noted right wing rag for 60 years) as too far left for him. Really?

At the same table another gentleman told me that he considered all democrats unpatriotic. Wow? And these folks are going to vote. If we speak again without the wives present I will ask this man point blank if he thinks electing an ignorant twit like Sarah Palin is patriotic.

Oh well, this state has always been a repugnant stronghold and it's not likely to change. Still, it would be nice to hear someone with some sense. Oh, and I did. My father-in-law totally gets it. He thinks Bush, the republicans and our government in general has sold us all down the river. Amen to that!

So I guess the good news is that he and I won't be having any heated political arguments while we're staying with them.

It cooled off enough yesterday that we had a fire in their backyard firepit and watched the almost full moon last night. I smoked a celebratory cigar and downed some brewskies after a day of moving furniture. All is well.

The Daily Husband

My Awesome Enid Grandkids

Now most of you who have read my blog know that I tend to like adults more than kids. We had 5 in the house at one time for a while and I pretty much had my fill of children. Yet I never tire of my grandkids company and my two in Enid, Tristen and Bailey are a joy.

Our middle daughter Jamie and her husband Ken live here in Enid, Oklahoma with Tristen, Bailey, two dogs - Precious and Brandy and two cats - Snoball and Boots. Their home in the suburbs is a rambling rancher with room for all. We have spent two very enjoyable days here participating in their lives.

We went to Tristen's football practice one night. (Pictured below)

Then to a football game the next. His team, the Plainsmen, won 34 to 0. Tristen played quarterback and end. He threw a touchdown pass from the end position on a trick play and ran the team for two more touchdown drives. I was impressed at the level of play for what to an adult looked like midgets playing football.

That's Tristen at Quarterback!

We had a really great time at the game, then came back to have birthday cake for a late birthday celebration for Bailey.

Today we brought the kids over to the pool here at the hotel and enjoyed some swimming in the indoor pool.

We always enjoy ourselves in Enid. The place has that small town feel, that touch of Americana that reminds you what most of our country used to be like. And of course for us it's the chance to spend some time and visit with our awesome Enid grandkids.

My daughters continue to amaze and impress me with their families and children. This is one of the benefits of staying alive long enough to watch your kids raise their families.

The Daily Husband

When Right is Wrong!

I have said that this election is about having the courage to vote for a black man as president. Some commenters have argued that it's not. I'm glad someone else has said what needs to be said to all the closet bigots and crackers out there who would do our country the great disservice of perpetuating republican rule and therefore rampant republican corruption by electing McCain/Palin. Just because they can't bring themselves to vote for a person of color.

GET OVER YOURSELVES ALREADY!

My thanks to Lisa at Politics after 50 for posting this video today on her blog.

This year my friends is when we have seen just how wrong the right can be.

The Daily Husband Husband

Myrtle Beach

We made it. The house closing went smoothly and we got out of Dodge in good fashion. We rolled into Myrtle Beach around 10:30 last night and it only took us 15 minutes to find the Ocean and our hotel.

Vic is upstairs finishing getting ready and I thought I'd write a quick post and put up a couple of pictures taken from our balcony. I love the ocean and it's a great feeling when you wake up to a sea view.

Today will be filled with nothing and everything. Ah, the life of a gypsy.

The Daily Husband

T minus 1 and counting

The Movex truck showed on time this morning. The movers showed up and did their thing. If I had reserved another 2 feet of space on the damn thing we could have gotten everything on the truck we had anticipated loading. As it was we made a decision to be more generous in our donation to the Salvation Army. They are scheduled to come tomorrow morning.

We close in the afternoon and head for the beach after: we are close, very close to being gone.

The Daily Husband

A list of Lasts

When you move you get to do a lot of last things in your old house. We finished packing and tearing down furniture today. The moving van will be at the house in the morning. We're spending tonight and tomorrow night in a motel just down the road. So.......

I smoked my last cigar out in the drive last night

I took my last shower in our master bath this morning.

Vicki did the last load of clothes in the washer and dryer today.

We cooked our last breakfast this morning.

Our Sunday newspaper from the local republican rag didn't show up for the last time today.

We slept in our bed in our bedroom for the last time last night.

I took my last walk in our little stand of woods yesterday.

I wrote my last post from the comfort of my home yesterday.

From here on out, it's all about the travel, the sights, the sounds, the people, the places, my family, and of course all the good people I've come to know through blogging.

The Daily Husband

Husband note: for anyone who has moved more than a couple of times, you know how difficult it can be. My wife is a champion packer and mover. She is incredibly organized, effective and efficient at getting us ready and getting us moved. If you have gypsy blood, then a woman like mine is essential. In case I haven't mentioned it; I am blessed to have a partner like Vicki. God I love this woman.

All packed up and nowhere to go

With the exception on the desktop computer used to keep my wireless connection to this laptop up and a few bits and pieces in the kitchen, we are completely packed.

The moving van is due here Monday, though at present I haven't heard yet what time that will be. Our last moving sales is tomorrow. What doesn't sell that we don't wish to move will go to the Salvation Army. Vic made arrangements with them to come and pickup Monday or Tuesday.

Vital communications with utilities are complete. We've seen the settlement statement and the closing is set for Tuesday afternoon. We even made reservations at a local motel for a couple of nights. After that we intend to spend 2 days on the coast before we visit my son Jason in Alpharetta, GA next Friday.

I wrote my last post for my political blog today and Vic packed a couple of small things and that's it. WE'RE DONE. Poke us with a fork baby, we just need the stuff put on the truck.

My melancholy side is being activated by the rain and stormy weather, but I must admit that I'm ready to get out of here too. We have lots of friends and family to see, places to go and people to meet.

I'll do my best to post while traveling, but Vicki has already put me on notice that this trip is about us and not about documenting it. So..........


OK, that's it from me.

The Daily Husband

Just Two Weeks left in the Tarheel State

It's raining today. The precipitation started last night some time. I heard the distant thunder and the pitter-patter of raindrops on the skylight.

We will be closing in exactly two weeks. I am still feeling some sadness about leaving this beautiful country. North Carolina is a gorgeous place to be. I will not miss the humidity, the bugs and the awful economy though.

I read this morning that things have a way to go before we see the bottom of the drop in our economy. We will weather that storm with friends and family in Arizona. There we will not have a home that is depreciating each day. Instead we'll be sitting on a modest amount of cash in the bank. The experts I've read say we're lucky to be in the position we're in. Liquidity is the best posture they say. So why do I feel sad to be leaving?

I guess it's the country boy in me. I found out that I'm not much of a southerner anymore and yet I still want to hold on to the belief that I am just a good ole country boy at heart.

Turns out that I'm somewhat more informed and enlightened than my chosen peeps. It gets harder and harder to care about NASCAR, Football, and reality TV when your country is in the crapper.

So I'll miss this time we have spent here in spite of the backwards politics, the low living standards, and the rest of the crap that comes from an economy built on WalMart.

I can look out back and see the lush greenery that makes up my backyard and pretend for just a minute that I'm back in Alabama on my Uncle's farm. My Aunt just made cornbread and we'll be having it with butter and fresh milk from his dairy. When the rain stops I'll take a couple of the dogs and go for a walk in the woods. Later I'll stop in at my Dad's cabinet shop. The smell of fresh wood, Formica glue, sawdust and the fire in the pot belly stove will greet me. A plane or router or saw will be screaming as Dad runs wood through it. He'll stop to smile at me, tell me what's going on and ask if I want to help.

Yea, I know we're doing the right thing here. It's my responsibility to look out for my family and make the best financial decision. And I know the future holds many happy days with friends and family out in Arizona. It's just that the damned ole country boy in me will miss the rain, the woods and the memory of a life so pure and simple that it seems like a fantasy now, instead of my real life history.

We'll be going by my Mom and Dad's graves in Verbena, Alabama on the way out to Phoenix. Maybe I'll see a couple of my many relatives there and reconnect a little bit. Maybe we'll just slip into town unnoticed, visit their graves, lay some flowers and leave.

Did I mention it's raining today. Rain makes me somewhat melancholy. Turns out I'm kind of a moody prick and the rain really brings it out in me.

The Daily Husband

Things are happening fast around here.

Our home had more visitors today than it has since we moved here.

The morning started with the septic people coming to inspect and pump our septic tank. The buyers had decided to have that done at the time it was inspected. A very good sign they are serious and on the ball.

Next the home inspectors showed up. Shortly after that the buyer (just the husband) made an appearance. Then came the realtor with some papers she forgot to have my wife initial.

We all hung out for a couple hours while the home inspection was completed. It seemed to go smoothly and I don't believe there were any big issues that arose.

Vicki came home around 4 and we called the realtor so she could come back by with the papers that needed Vic's initials. We had a nice time with the realtor and I encouraged her to tell her friends about our furniture and TVs for sale.

We are hoping to move as little as possible this time. While we're not willing to give away our stuff, we are going to make some folks very good deals on things like a bedroom set, a living room set, a couple of TV's and various other things.

When Vicki is home next week we will begin to pack in earnest. Right now we're just doing the obvious and easy. Pictures that have recently come down from our walls, some tools I will no longer need and office supplies and files were the first things attacked. Later comes clothes, dishes, bedding, towels, and the multitudinous other possessions with which modern man and woman surrounds themselves.

If we have good weather this weekend we'll hold the first of two or three moving sales ( according to how much stuff sells) and send as many items down the road that way.

It is just beginning to dawn on us that our time here in Hickory is coming to an end. The house is close to perfect now, (oh, there's still the odd bit of landscaping and painting the new owners will do) so it must be time to go. With us it always works this way; when the house gets just right, then we sell.

And it is all happening at a breakneck pace. Each day sees our home become more and more impersonal. Each day it is less of our home and more of just a nice house. The subtle and pervasive shift from the feeling of pride of ownership to the wish to be gone already is starting to take place. Things I thought about doing no longer matter. They are simply not my problem. This feels mostly good. I am now able to begin to think in a completely new way. The constant thoughts of improvement and maintenance that pervaded my thinking will change to thoughts of travel, adventure, reunions with family and paying homage to my folks graves in my Dad's small town in Alabama.

I guess I'm ready for the shift in thought patterns. Who says old people aren't flexible? I know we all like our routines, but most of us are willing and able adaptors as well. Vicki and I will adapt to our new situation (homeless with a little money) and know it's better than what the eventual alternative here would have been. (Homeowners with too little money)

Events have a way of working out for the best for us. There must be a reason why we're being called back to the desert. Perhaps like Moses we're destined to 40 years there. If that's the case then it means we have at least another 15 years. That would put me at 74. Man does that sound old.

If I'm fortunate enough to last that long I hope it's in good health with my wife at my side. We have many more places to see, friends to make, wines to share and stories to write together. It looks like this is the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

The Daily Husband

The Moving Husband

If you read my last post then you know I got after it in the basement. I ended up pulling an all-niter to get the drywall up before our last showing on Saturday and it payed off. The house is sold. The couple who purchased it need to be in by the end of the month, so we're going to have to work hard to get moved in time.

The really nice thing about this whole deal is that the buyers are really nice folks who appreciate what we've done here and the potential of the property. The husband is retired and will spend a good deal of time in the yard gardening; there's plenty of space for that. The wife is still working and our location will insure her a short commute.

We feel very fortunate and blessed to have sold in less than 30 days and to have gotten just 3.5% less than asking price. I attribute our luck to hard work by Vicki in keeping the house clean and my efforts to finish the basement and give potential buyers a look at a home with no work to do.

The wife in our buyer's couple commented that they had looked at many nice homes, but none as clean and neat as ours. Sometimes the simple stuff counts. Clean freaks attract clean freaks I guess and it certainly works for me. So Vic gave notice and will be home next week packing, packing and then packing some more when she's resting.

I have some work to finish up in the basement and the garage for the new owners. In addition we'll be holding a couple of moving sales and consolidating, sorting, donating, throwing out and giving away what items we don't want to take with us.

I spent most of today making arrangements with movers, storage facilities in Phoenix and helpers to unload our stuff into storage when it gets there. We will follow some time later. I want to take my better half to the beach, see some of the kids, and visit my Mom and Dad's graves in Alabama on the way out to Arizona.

How many more posts I will be able to write is up in the air. If I'm able I'll post from on the road and include some pictures. We'll just have to see how it goes.

The Daily Husband

Order and Conformity in a Chaotic World

What you are viewing is a picture of furring strips on the wall for finishing my basement. They are set on 16 inch centers to accept drywall. Since we put the house up for sale it dawned on me (somewhat later than earlier) that in this market a finished basement would be helpful in selling our home.


The reason I show you these pictures is to illustrate that order and conformity have their place in our personal universes. In my little corner of reality my days are spent improving our investment and working to make our home show better and sell quicker. Had the previous owners not allowed morons (with apologies to Dianne who says her entire home was built by morons) to finish the basement the first time, I wouldn't have to be redoing it now.


You see the paneling that was originally applied was done so poorly and with no thought to the moisture issue in the basement that all of it on the outside walls had to be removed. Of course it would have had to have been removed for the termite treatments anyway, but that's another story.


So here I am at this late date establishing 16 inch centers for framing and drywall, redoing the electrical outlets, (the yellow blobs you see on the wall in the first picture are holes that were punched in the block to allow large metal electric boxes to be installed) and repairing and retiling the suspended ceiling.


Order and conformity play a large part in good construction. Perhaps you can notice the haphazard framing behind the washer and dryer. It will require some adjusting and adding to before I can put up drywall. I'm leaving that till last because once I pull the washer and dryer out from the wall and disconnect them I want to drywall, finish and paint before moving them back. All that needs to happen as quickly as possible once they are out of service; my wife thinks she should be able to wash clothes and I agree with her.







This last picture is the other plumbing wall that I attacked first. With the exception of finishing the corner bead on the windows it is ready to mud. I'm not looking forward to that. Of all my skills, my drywall mudding ones are the weakest. I guess you just have to do it more frequently to get good at it.







Then of course there's the sanding and painting. First a primer then another coat. I will prime and paint the remaining paneling to match and hope the outcome is acceptable.



Wish me luck in finishing this project and making it look right.


The Daily Husband

Too old for his tools?

I'm on my lunch break from finishing the basement this Saturday to allow time for muscles to uncramp, blood from wounds to coagulate and my temperament to reset.

We've put our house up for sale and to improve our chances of a quick (or in the case of this market, not too lengthy) sale, I am finishing what was a partially finished space in our basement. This involves some framing, which I enjoy and drywall work which I do not enjoy. Why do they call it "Drywall" anyway? Anyone who has done drywall knows it requires a lot of wet work as well.

Of course for yours truly it's the pleasure of using my favorite tool, the razor knife, that really does it for me. If I don't manage to nick off an ear or puncture a kidney with the damn thing I'm lucky. This morning it was just a slice on my thumb, next to area of skin I removed with the hammer yesterday. As I write this my thumb throbs in two places.

Still, the pleasure of seeing large expanses of ugly basement wall turn into bright finished surfaces outweighs the potential for bodily harm. This basement had a drop ceiling (which I detest) and it will still have one when I'm done. There is too much work involved to reroute pipes, air conditioning ducts, gas lines and electric wires to do a proper drywalled ceiling. Just not gonna happen. Instead I purchased new tiles, some more ceiling members and will clean up the look of the partial ceiling that now exists.

The house was shown by a local realtor yesterday and the follow up conversation with her was very encouraging. I asked for any negative comments and she said there were none. She stated the house was the nicest one she had shown her clients and they loved it. She also said the wife and her mother liked everything about the place, including the proximity to the wife's work. (less than a 5 minute drive)

The couple went away for the holiday weekend and perhaps we'll hear something next week. In the meantime I will continue to finish the basement. It can't hurt to have it done. If nothing else it should get us a little more money in the initial offer. Keep your fingers crossed that I can do a decent job without a hospital visit and that this couple is our buyers.

The Daily Husband