Meeting our first blog friend

I received an e-mail a couple of weeks ago from an excellent writer and my blog friend Lisa Wines. She authors "Politics after 50" and "OMyWord", two great blogs that she pens from her apartment on the right bank of the Seine River in Paris.

She was coming back to America, Phoenix in fact, and wanted to know if I would like to get together. My answer was: Abso - fricking - lutely! I have lived my life vicariously through her exploits in Paris and we both have enjoyed the other's take on politics and life on our blogs. I was anxious to meet my first blog friend face to face.

Vicki and I met her at our local Starbucks and I spent the entire time grilling the poor woman about life in Paris, customs, language, culture, business, hobbies, sports and fifty thousand other questions about life in an exciting foreign country's capitol. I even managed to learn two, count em, two, French words. The first is "arondissment" which is means district or something to that effect. Each section of Paris is numbered and the sections resemble the parts of a spiral sea shell. It is pronounced "A- Ron- Dis-Mon".

The second word was "Boulangerie." This is a bread shop. Each district has several, and each day after work Parisians line up to get there bread before going home for the evening meal. This one is pronounced Boo - lingerie. Like in what they sell at Victoria's secret

Anyway... So much time was spent in getting to know each other that before we knew it, it was close to dinner time. Lisa followed us back to our place just a few blocks from the Starbucks. We had intended to grill, but after discussing it with our guest, we settled on Chinese takeout. Lisa explained that Chinese was just too different in Paris. As luck would have it, we have an excellent Chinese food establishment close by.

After gorging ourselves on egg rolls, pot stickers, chicken - both orange and cashew, we moved out to the patio. There we continued the conversation, smoked (Lisa a few cigarettes and me a good cigar), imbibed a few adult beverages and exchanged political views, thoughts and impressions. Of course I asked more questions about life in Paris. Both Vicki and I were fascinated by the lifestyle experienced by Lisa.

Sometime during the evening I dug out my guitar and learned that Lisa has a great Blues voice. It's hard to not like a chick that knows the blues.

So... my first experience meeting a blog friend turned out to be pretty cool.

Hopefully we'll get to see her one more time before she heads back to Paris. I'd like to hear her sing a couple more blues songs while I lay down a jam. Also, there's still some whiskey left at my house and we should probably work on that too.

Life is a funny, beautiful and wondrous thing; so is meeting your first blog friend in person.

The Daily Husband

Happy Birthday Vicki

I won't be talking about how old she is today, cause that's just plain stupid. I mean stupid beyond even most husbands stupid. So we'll just leave it at that.

It took me a long time to understand how important the role of a husband is to a marriage and to the husband himself. If you are making the effort day in and day out to be a good mate it makes all the difference in the world. Sure, you're going to mess up. That's natural, we're guys and we're wired that way. The point is: are you doing your level best on a consistent basis to be a good partner or maybe even a great partner?

If you can answer the above question in the affirmative, then you are most likely happily married.

So on the day of my wife's birthday I want to congratulate the millions of husbands out there that feel as I do. That life isn't complete without the companionship and love of your spouse. That living together with one person for years on end is actually fun. (If you like the person) And that having a good wife and a good marriage completes you.

Each year I spend whatever time it takes to find a card that says what I'm feeling. This year I found one that was succinct and to the point.


It simply said: "I love you like everything, because you are."


Happy Birthday Baby






The Daily Husband

Knowing When You're Blessed

I have refrained from discussing this year's birthday on my blogs, but I am 60 years old today. It doesn't seem like it's been sixty years since my birth. So much for my time sense, huh?

Vicki and I have planned a short trip up into the mountains for our birthdays, since hers is 5 days later than mine. For 5 days every year I hear about how I'm three whole years older than her. I never tire of the taunts and ribs. The trip was to be our presents to ourselves and nothing else was planned; or so I thought.

We spent this last weekend just chilling. Nothing special going on and looking forward to a really lazy weekend.

In the middle of Sunday morning Vicki announced she needed to go to the store later that day and run some errands. What I didn't know was that she had been scheming and planning for over two weeks to surprise me.

A couple of hours after she left there was a knock on our front door and there stood a bunch of our grandkids. I invited them in and then the rest of the crowd showed up. We have 5 kids and 13 grandkids so we hardly ever see them all together cause they are spread out throughout the country. The group that came on Sunday was comprised of the local ones along with Vicki's parents and some friends of my oldest daughter.

It was a great surprise and warmed my heart in that:

a) My wife had thought to do this and planned it all
b) My kids and grandkids had taken time out of their weekend to come see me
c) They all understood how this was the absolute best gift a guy turning 60 could get

We had a great time, I hung out with some of the grandkids and we terrorized our Adult neighborhood a bit. The group was convivial and teased me greatly about my advanced age. I received a pin to wear that lights up and an old geezer's hat. I immediately donned the aforementioned chapeau and wore it in the fashion of Art Carney's character "Norton" in the Honeymooners. Don't worry if you're too young to remember this famous show starring Jackie Gleason; you're young baby, enjoy it.

For those mature enough to understand the reference you should be able to picture me as the height of fashion and studliness in the hat.

Here's a portion of the group that showed up. This is as many as I could get to sit still for a picture. The others not seen were adults, most specifically my wife (who told me when I asked her to sit for the picture, "You see me every day."

I feel truly blessed to have family and friends who'll come celebrate my continued aging with me on a warm Sunday afternoon in Phoenix. Thanks everyone for coming.

Here's their picture....



I might be 60 today, but at least I know I'm blessed.

The Daily Husband

Second Fiddle

The are many names for it. Playing second fiddle, taking a backseat, and being supportive are just a few. What these all have in common is that they are the backbone to a good marriage. Listen up husbands, this could help you.

No matter what you do for a living, from Astronaut to Zoologist, you are always a husband first in your wife's mind. And in order to be a really first class husband, you have to understand the importance of being second.

Women in general and your wife specifically are much more important to your family and the world than you are. Name one man who can give birth. Can't can you? (and please don't use that lameass chick that had an operation and then got pregnant) But I bet you can name a woman who just had 8 children, huh?

So, on the biological level alone, your wife is wwwwaaaaaayyyyy more important than you are. Sure you had to be there for conception, but after that, not so much. Think about how many millions upon millions of our kids are currently growing up in single parent households. I don't believe it's as good as having two parents for them, but they are doing it.

Anyway......not to get too deep in this, cause it's really a simple premise.

A good husband knows when to take a backseat to his wife. Knows when to be the Jesse James to his Sandra Bullock, the Prince Phillip to his Queen Elizabeth and the Stedman to his Oprah. It really is all about them. Get used to it. Embrace it and enjoy it.

Women make the world go round guys. Think how much stupid stuff you did to impress girls.

So now, when you're married, why not do the smart thing to impress the most important girl in your life? Give in to the truth and let her know how much she means to you. Want an easy way to show that feeling? Make sure you're always playing backup to the lead singer in your relationship. And make sure she knows it.

It ain't all that hard and it makes a marriage fun. Like the commercial says: Just Do It!

The Daily Husband

Sorry.......but,

I have been a lazy blogger here at the Daily Husband. I apologize. It's more like the bi-weekly husband or the monthly husband now, isn't it?

Never the less.....Things husbandwise have been good around the old Daily Husband household for so long that I've made the rookie mistake of taking it for granted. One would think this was my first rodeo or something. Not the case at all. Just lazy, hung up on getting some of my money back from the stock market and enjoying the fantastic spring weather here in Arizona.

When your wife spoils you the way I am spoiled life is a thing of beauty.

Along with husbandhood comes fatherhood. It has had some really great rewards. Today we received an email from our oldest daughter that made us cry and smile. (not at the same time)

The title of the e-mail is Enough. In this time of financial crisis and money worries, it's a good time to consider what enough really means. I think the following explains it well.

ENOUGH:

RECENTLY, I OVERHEARD A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER IN
THEIR LAST MOMENTS TOGETHER AT THE AIRPORT. THEY HAD
ANNOUNCED THE DEPARTURE. STANDING NEAR THE SECURITY GATE,
THEY HUGGED, AND THE MOTHER SAID, 'I LOVE YOU, AND I WISH YOU
ENOUGH'
THE DAUGHTER REPLIED, \'MOM, OUR LIFE TOGETHER HAS
BEEN MORE THAN ENOUGH. YOUR LOVE IS ALL I EVER NEEDED. I WISH YOU
ENOUGH, TOO, MOM.\'
THEY KISSED, AND THE DAUGHTER LEFT. THE MOTHER
WALKED OVER TO THE WINDOW WHERE I WAS SEATED. STANDING THERE, I COULD
SEE SHE WANTED AND NEEDED TO CRY. I TRIED NOT TO INTRUDE ON
HER PRIVACY, BUT SHE WELCOMED ME IN BY ASKING, \'DID YOU
EVER SAY GOOD-BYE TO SOMEONE KNOWING IT WOULD BE FOREVER?\'
YES, I HAVE,\' I REPLIED. \'FORGIVE ME FOR ASKING,
BUT WHY IS THIS A FOREVER GOOD-BYE?\'
\'I AM OLD, AND SHE LIVES SO FAR AWAY. I HAVE CHALLENGES
AHEAD, AND THE REALITY IS - HER NEXT TRIP BACK WILL BE FOR
MY FUNERAL,\' SHE SAID.
\'WHEN YOU WERE SAYING GOOD-BYE, I HEARD YOU SAY,
\'I WISH YOU ENOUGH.\' MAY I ASK WHAT THAT MEANS?\'
SHE BEGAN TO SMILE. \'THAT\'S A WISH THAT HAS BEEN
HANDED DOWN FROM OTHER GENERATIONS. MY PARENTS USED TO SAY IT TO
EVERYONE.\' SHE PAUSED A MOMENT AND LOOKED UP AS IF TRYING TO
REMEMBER IT IN DETAIL, AND SHE SMILED EVEN MORE. \'WHEN WE
SAID, \'I WISH YOU ENOUGH,\' WE WANTED THE OTHER PERSON TO
HAVE A LIFE FILLED WITH JUST ENOUGH GOOD THINGS TO SUSTAIN
THEM.\'
THEN, TURNING TOWARD ME, SHE SHARED THE
FOLLOWING AS IF SHE WERE RECITING IT FROM MEMORY.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH SUN TO KEEP YOUR ATTITUDE
BRIGHT NO MATTER HOW GRAY THE DAY MAY APPEAR.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH RAIN TO APPRECIATE THE SUN EVEN
MORE.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH HAPPINESS TO KEEP YOUR SPIRIT
ALIVE AND EVERLASTING.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH PAIN SO THAT EVEN THE SMALLEST
OF JOYS IN LIFE MAY APPEAR BIGGER.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH GAIN TO SATISFY YOUR WANTING.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH LOSS TO APPRECIATE ALL THAT YOU
POSSESS.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH HELLO\'S TO GET YOU THROUGH THE
FINAL GOOD-BYE.
THEN, SHE BEGAN TO CRY, AND WALKED AWAY.
THEY SAY, IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT AN ENTIRE
LIFE TO FORGET THEM.
* ONLY IF YOU WISH, SEND THIS TO THE PEOPLE YOU
WILL NEVER FORGET. IF YOU DON\'T SEND IT TO
ANYONE, IT MAY MEAN THAT YOU ARE IN SUCH A HURRY THAT YOU
HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE.....
TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES,
I WISH YOU ENOUGH.......


The Daily Husband

Husbands, Dating and Cigars

OK, you're asking yourself; "Is this guy saying Husbands should date?"

Yes, yes I am. If the only lady you date is your wife that is. My spouse and I went dancing last Saturday at a Phoenix Institution named Graham Central Station. It was much cooler in the 80s and 90s. The dancing hotspot is a mega club with a Karaoke bar, a massive C & W dance floor, an 80s dance floor and a small Hip-Hop club all in one.

If the combination sounds awkward; it's really not. It is a bit square in my opinion, but hundreds if not thousands of Phoenicians flock there on the weekends to meet, greet and dance. Vic and I always enjoy dancing and for me the only bummer is when I don't like the music. There was a lot of that going on at Grahams on Saturday night. (At least for me)

In spite of the squareness of the venues we managed to find some songs at each (with the exception of the Karaoke) to dance to and enjoy. We ended up leaving early to go to a local Casino. The Lone Butte Casino is a remodeled Indian Casino near us and we checked it out. The place was packed, even more than the club. Folks were busy making donations to the local Indian tribe, drinking, smoking and listening to a pretty good cover band. The only problem for us was there was no dance floor. We tried out luck at the slots, finding them very, very stingy and left to go get some late night dessert. Did I mention that we went to dinner first at the local Native New Yorker? No, huh.

Well, before going dancing we stopped in and had their classic Philly steak sandwich with steak fries. The meal is so big that we buy one and split it. During the meal we played trivia even winning once. After that it was on to dancing.

Anywho........

We decided to go back to the Native New Yorker for the Fudge Brownie Sundae and some more trivia. It turns out that they have Karaoke on Saturday nights. (Did I mention I hate Karaoke?) We endured the modestly good, the very, very bad, and the outright ugly in order to enjoy dessert and more trivia. (We won again)

During this time my wife noticed a woman at a table not too far away that looked familiar. It turned out to be one of her sisters who we hadn't seen in some time. Her table was celebrating her roommate's birthday and actively engaging in the Karaoke. We listened to a couple of pretty funny songs. One which involved a not so subtle innuendo about pussy (of course it was the singers pet cat, right?) The chorus utilized each preceding verse's topic which in the end sounded like something like this: HOT, WET, DIRTY, ETC, ETC, PUSSY!

Alright, it was a tad funny in a very corny way.

So our night went full circle with with dinner, dancing, people watching, late night dessert, sibling meeting, songs about pussy and such. All in all another great date. See, husbands can date if it's done right.


Oh and as far as cigars go: Friday night I smoke cigars and have an adult beverage or two. We cook out so I can stand outside and smoke while attending to the grill. After all, a guys gotta have a little guy stuff going on in his life too. Nothing says that like the aroma of charring meat and burning cigar tobacco mixed with Whiskey.

Happy Dating!

The Daily Husband

Valentines Come and Gone

Well Cupid's arrows are back in the quiver for the season and St. Valentines Day is behind us. I hope that my fellow husbands remembered the importance of the day and made the most of it.

Just this week my wife threw out the rose petals left from her bouquet of garden roses and popped the "I Love you" balloon that had miraculously retained both it's helium and buoyancy.

I have been muddling along husband-wise lately. Both of us are doing what we can for ourselves physically as we hunt (seemingly in vain) for an opportunity at employment.

Most of my day is spent in attempting to regain lost funds in my modest stock trading account. Thus far I am still down considerably and working at making any small gains I can on a daily basis.

Vicki is waiting on word from her sister's work where there is a possibility of a job later in the spring. I pore over jobs boards and monster and jobbing.com and yahoo and whatever.

Is it just me or is there a lack of "real" jobs out there. A lot of what I see is just bullshit stuff.

I continue to think about and explore all legitimate methods of producing income.

Hope the world is treating you as well or better.

The Daily Husband

Are you sleeping?

When your wife asks you this a 1:00 AM it is rarely a good thing. Oh, I know it could be to get lucky, but usually it's something keeping her from sleeping that's on her mind.

Last night was just such a case. I came in to the bedroom at a little before one and we talked about getting up early today. (which we did) Then we kissed goodnight and settled in. Within just a few minutes came the question: "Are you sleeping?" Since I don't usually nod right off unless I've had an adult beverage or two the answer was already known, but she asked the question anyway.

"No, I'm not sleeping" I answered with a laugh. "Are we going to move the Armoire into the living room and bring ours in here when we get our stuff out of storage?" she asked. I couldn't help myself, I just started laughing. "You picked this time of night to ask that question?" I inquired. "Having some trouble getting to sleep are you?" I continued. "Well I was just thinking about where we're going to put all the stuff from the storage room" she said.

We discussed this some more and I tried my best to stop laughing at the incongruity of this particular discussion at this time of night, but it took a while. In the end we concluded with a discussion of George Carlin's bit about "a place to put my stuff." If you haven't heard it, check it out.



Now you know why I couldn't stop laughing for a while. We were doing a small part of the "a place to put your stuff" bit at 1:00 AM.

God I love that woman.

The Daily Husband

Monday Morning Quarterback

Well, here we are and we almost made it. Superbowl Champions that is. You know what I mean.

Our home team, the Cardinals, originally of Chicago, then St. Louis, and now Phoenix played better than expected by most and just not quite good enough to beat the favored Steelers.

We invited my wife's Mom and Dad to watch the game with us and ate a delicious turkey meal at half time. It differed from holiday fare only in the absence of cranberry sauce.

The first half was disappointing for the Cardinals and fans. The offense couldn't get it together. The interception at the goal line was a disaster. Coming out in the second half we didn't get any better till the 4th quarter and by then it was just a little too late.

Kudos to Fitzgerald, who did everything in his power to help his team. I felt let down by the coaches, both offense and defense, who were clearly out coached and out called for most of the game. Warner was a disappointment this game as well. And while we're at it, let's not forget the officials. This game had several picky and questionable calls, as well as two challenges won by the cardinals.

This won't go down as a great game, but it was interesting, entertaining, and for a while, we thought the Cards might pull it off.

I didn't watch a lot of football this year, but like most folks here in the valley, I rooted for the Cards during the playoffs and the Super Bowl. Like love, where it is better to have loved and lost than not at all; it's better to have played in the Super Bowl and lost than to have not made it to the big game.

Few will remember we made it this far in years to come, but for once in a long time, the Cards had a shot at the ultimate prize in their sport. Isn't that all you can really ask for?

The Daily Husband

America's most powerful Husband

So congrats are in order Mr. Obama. You became the president of the United States today.

Quite an achievement for a young man, husband and father of just 47 years old. In addition you've overcome the disadvantages of bi- racialism, being brought up in a single parent home and then losing that parent. You have accomplished much.

Yet, like any husband, you still have a wife and family to answer to as well as an entire country and most of the world.

From what I've seen of you, it looks like you keep an even keel. You will most certainly need it now. Just don't forget that being a husband is still your major priority. If you keep that in mind, your job, your family and your country will do just fine. I heard you repeat the husband's mantra "If Mama ain't happy, nobody is." Don't forget that now that you've become the big honcho of our country.

To your wife and kids, you're still just a husband and a father. Or should I say, you have the honor to be a Husband and a Father. I think you believe the latter, as I do.

If you are able to participate in your family and marriage in a meaningful way while carrying on the duties of the presidency, you will have succeeded beyond your wildest dreams.


For now at least, your our country's most powerful husband. Do us proud.


The Daily Husband

What Husbands don't know about the coming year?

This is the most wide open title I've used for a post in some time. It comes from my belief that Husbands can be more clueless than most.

By this I don't mean to impugn the dignity or intelligence of Husbands, they do that enough by themselves. No, I mean we really don't know what's coming at us in 2009.

Most have heard that the economy will continue to struggle. I've heard estimates of several million homeowners being booted out of their homes by the time this is all said and done. (sometime in 2010 perhaps) Unemployment is slated to be between 8.5 % and 10 %. That means millions will be without jobs and many of them will be husbands.

So now is the time to look at your situation and take action as needed. In the case of my wife and I, we decided to sell our home in North Carolina and rent here in Phoenix. There were extenuating circumstances, but it has proven so far to be a good decision. In addition, we sold an SUV and purchased a Honda civic. (37 miles to gallon on our last road trip) Which with gas as low as it currently is was feasible for us. (the road trip that is)

Maybe it's too late for you to do something that drastic or maybe you don't need to; yet. Take a good hard look at your circumstances and plan for the coming economic downturn. There are a variety of economic sites with suggestions on budgeting, lifestyle change and other ways to save money. Do yourself a favor and learn how to live on less, consume less, need less and be more happy. I think you'll be surprised how much better off you will be in the end.

Along with economics is the new political agenda of the incoming president, world affairs and the continuing cultural struggle between various elements in our society. This new year will bring some new realities in that realm as well. Many will begin to understand that ours is turning into a brown country. The mixture of cultures and races has been a boon to our country in the past and must be again if we are to prosper in the future. The change in generations and the thinking that goes along with that means we are destined to look at ourselves and the world in a different way. Whether or not it is a better way is yet to be seen.

On the home front there will be increased stress in marriages from job dislocations, financial troubles, kids acting out, sex and love issues and all the old standbys; like jealousy, envy and so forth. If you haven't worked on some of these before now, then the new year may force them to the front of your mind in a very uncomfortable way. Take stock of the spiritual side of your relationship and work on it. If you want to have a partner to see you through these tough times.

And there it is; isn't it? Being married, being a Husband, means being a part of a partnership. Utilize that partnership to the maximum this year and it will help you deal with the challenges we will all face in 2009. While the pundits call for mostly doom and gloom in the new year, I look forward to the opportunity to meet the crisis head on and persevere if not prosper.

Here's hoping my fellow Husbands understand how much we don't know about the coming year and do their best to educate themselves for the coming challenge.

The Daily Husband